Language

After the October 23, 1956 events in Hungary, leaving the country became a national pastime. Hungarians, in huge numbers left and went to different countries (western countries) in the world. As a result, I don't think there is a country in the world that does not have any Hungarians living in. In those years,  for us being the "poor" refugees it was easier to find a home. And we all did. Settled in we all did and started our new lives.

Hungarians have a very good habit of assimilating. They try and succeed in fitting in whatever part of the world they live in. I wouldn't be surprised to find Hungarians in China who look Chinese or in any African country looking like the natives. One of the main part of assimilating is learning the language well. This is needed if one wants to be able to work.

The other mode of fitting in is to marry a person who is already living in that particular country, who has roots there and not necessarily Hungarian. Now, this brings up the question of language. Since the Hungarian person wants to learn the language of the host country, and the spouse is non Hungarian it becomes necessary to speak the foreign language at home. This unfortunately is reflected on the children.

They will grow up not speaking Hungarian at all, and their only familiarity with Hungary is that one of their parents was born there. I know several people who followed this exact prescription. Their children were born here and do not speak a single word in Hungarian. Their understanding of Hungary or its history and culture is minimal Even if one parent would have wanted to push this, very likely the other parent would have resented it. 

Unfortunately, with this attitude any ties emotional or otherwise we had with our native country will disappear and die with us (old-timers). I believe that later immigrants, not the '56 crowd, behaved a little differently. They tried to cultivate their relationship with the home country and they also made sure their children did practice and did not forget their mother tongue.

It happened to us more than once that when in public we were speaking to each other in Hungarian a stranger would stop us and inquired that was that in Hungarian we spoke. When we said yes, they said they recognized that because some of their grandparents were Hungarian and they heard the language spoken at home. When we asked if he or she spoke Hungarian they told us sorry, not a word.

This was very sad.