Sunday

Now, regardless that I skipped a day this week, I will still take Sunday off. Any objections, complain to the management!

1957 Halloween

Here is something I did not write about for a year now. Exactly 64 years ago I was very nervous, excited and apprehensive. I think about a week ago or more we found out that we were on the list for the group of refugees going to America.

As I probably mentioned it before, I was in Yugoslavia in a refugee camp for nine months. We were moving around a lot but at the end wound up at the final camp for those who wanted to go to the US. Spent a few weeks there and while in this camp we were interviewed, checked and double checked before the final determination was made to allow us to leave.

It was extremely exciting to finally see my name on that list. Even though I was not yet 21 years old I did realize this was a big thing. I knew that America was not next door to Hungary and I will be quite a distance away but I accepted since it was my choice.

Coming out of WWII and the Hungarian revolution, my mother was not too keen on me staying in Europe. She was afraid that history might repeat itself. And, 64 years later the way sentiments are. I am not convinced that it might not happen again.

Anyway, on the 30th of October, we got up early in the morning and were taken by bus to the Belgrade airport where we boarded our plane. Back then, jets were not well known in civilian transport and our plane was a propeller driven one. I don't believe many of us ever flown so it was a brand new experience to everybody. Some got sick during the flight some not.

As I remember the flight took forever. I tried to keep tab on my wristwatch but because we crossed so many time zones I lost track. We stopped and disembarked in Frankfurt, Germany, Reykjavik, Iceland, Gander, Canada before arriving at New York's Idlewild Airport. I don't know how many hours the trip took but I do know it was the next day we arrived. 

And that was my first Halloween.

Travel

I am usually not a nasty person but there are things that make me lose my cool. Robocalls are one of these. I know that the people who call are doing their jobs and they are not responsible for what they are saying but still, since they are at the other end of the phone they get my outburst.

Lately we get call about travel. The introduction goes something like this: "Hello Mr. Whoever. I know that you are a traveling person and were traveling a lot with such and such company, and I would like to offer you a fantastic opportunity..."

At that point I interrupt the hapless person on the other end and tell them that first does he/she realizes that there is a pandemic in the world and traveling is not something people do frequently do and I also say that I don't like that particular company because they suck so please go to hell and don't bother me in future.

This usually works for a day or two but the calls just keep coming back. I wonder if anybody falls for their tricks and buys a trip from them. I always block these calls but they keep coming back with different numbers. Anyway, after I curse them out I do feel better! 

Every day I get on my phone about ten scam calls. Fortunately, the caller id on my phone flags them as Possible Scam and this way I just shut them off. But they keep coming back. Just like cockroaches, can not get rid of them. 

Language

After the October 23, 1956 events in Hungary, leaving the country became a national pastime. Hungarians, in huge numbers left and went to different countries (western countries) in the world. As a result, I don't think there is a country in the world that does not have any Hungarians living in. In those years,  for us being the "poor" refugees it was easier to find a home. And we all did. Settled in we all did and started our new lives.

Hungarians have a very good habit of assimilating. They try and succeed in fitting in whatever part of the world they live in. I wouldn't be surprised to find Hungarians in China who look Chinese or in any African country looking like the natives. One of the main part of assimilating is learning the language well. This is needed if one wants to be able to work.

The other mode of fitting in is to marry a person who is already living in that particular country, who has roots there and not necessarily Hungarian. Now, this brings up the question of language. Since the Hungarian person wants to learn the language of the host country, and the spouse is non Hungarian it becomes necessary to speak the foreign language at home. This unfortunately is reflected on the children.

They will grow up not speaking Hungarian at all, and their only familiarity with Hungary is that one of their parents was born there. I know several people who followed this exact prescription. Their children were born here and do not speak a single word in Hungarian. Their understanding of Hungary or its history and culture is minimal Even if one parent would have wanted to push this, very likely the other parent would have resented it. 

Unfortunately, with this attitude any ties emotional or otherwise we had with our native country will disappear and die with us (old-timers). I believe that later immigrants, not the '56 crowd, behaved a little differently. They tried to cultivate their relationship with the home country and they also made sure their children did practice and did not forget their mother tongue.

It happened to us more than once that when in public we were speaking to each other in Hungarian a stranger would stop us and inquired that was that in Hungarian we spoke. When we said yes, they said they recognized that because some of their grandparents were Hungarian and they heard the language spoken at home. When we asked if he or she spoke Hungarian they told us sorry, not a word.

This was very sad.  

October 23

This past Saturday was October 23, the 65th anniversary of the Hungarian revolution. 65 years ago when my and most of my friends' life changed. None of us knew what was waiting for us in the future because back then we looked at life one day at a time. No long range planning.

65 years went by, looking back, pretty quickly, but not totally uneventful. Lots of things happened, good mixed with the bad. Happy mixed with the sad. Many of our loved ones left this life ant to many of us new lives came to existence.

Most of my friends and I were not even 20 years old step. I am not sorryback then and I don't think we were seriously able to comprehend the seriousness of the situation. Every one of us lived through WWII and the bombing and shootings in Budapest. This just seemed another one of those.

Many took advantage of the early chaos and left the country in the first few days. Some, like me and my best friend agonized over leaving and waited a few months before taking the giant step. In hindsight, I am glad we took this step. I am not sorry about leaving the country, I am just sorry about leaving my family.

Honestly speaking, when we left Hungary I just turned 20 years old. I did not have a serious bone in my body. I did not have any plan in my mind what to do and how to do it. Didn't even know what country I or us wanted to go to. It was like whoever would take us. Very serious thinking, right?

But, as it turned out it ended well. I am not sorry for the big leap.

  

Color blind 2

This now is not a political writing. This is about the disadvantages a person has when that person is color blind. As I mentioned it earlier, I am pretty much color blind. Can not tell the difference between red and green, brown and green and a few other colors. On that mosaic like eye test I can not see a damn thing except a bunch of different colors.

This is the way I am since childhood. I was never able to learn colors. Being color blind is not a big thing but it could be a serious career breaker.

Here is a list of careers I was not able to pursue: airline pilot - I would have landed the plane in the parking lot because couldn't understand the colors of the runway markers;  butcher - I wouldn't been able to tell the good meat from the spoiled meat; house painter - couldn't advise the client about good colors; fashion designer - couldn't put good dress colors together; couldn't work in a supermarket fruit and vegetable department because wouldn't been able to tell good stuff from the spoilt stuff. And, the list would just go on.

I can drive because I know the red is always on the top and the green is on the bottom. If that changes I am careful but in all these years I never had any problem with this scenario. Anyway, in everyday life this not much of a hindrance except when somebody directs me to take the green or the orange colored something. Then I am in trouble and I have to tell them to be more specific, and sheepishly I admit that I am colorblind.

Like many other disadvantages in life this can also be overcome, and I did.

Sunday

 Same old story. It is Sunday and I rest! It was a busy week and I need time off.

The Book

I don't know if I ever mentioned it, if I did I apologize, that my wife wrote a book. The book she wrote is about life in the old  country, the healthy ways they lived and how the full richness of nature was used to cure ailments. Also healthy recipes were included in this book.

The book was written in two languages and is currently available in bookstores and through Amazon, practically in every country where Amazon is doing business. As we were told the book met with moderate success and interest. Did not hear anything negative about it, only positive comments. There is an American publishing company and a European publishing company doing the marketing.

The European publisher invited my wife to an upcoming book symposium to be held in Budapest in late November. Supposedly, at this get together she would have a chance to meet people from the industry as well as other writers, publishers and whoever else.

I am pushing her to go because I think this is a great opportunity, but she is very hesitant. You have to know that my wife is extremely shy. Hates publicity, hates public exposure. But if we want this book to really take off she has to shrug off these feelings. She went to Europe a few months ago and saw that traveling is not as difficult as it was made to believe. At that time she visited family and friends and had a good time.

This time this would be mostly business, helping the book to get off and fly. Ok, the family is there, and one can not avoid to see them, but this rime they would have to take second place. Right now she is working on her second book and this visit would be a great preamble to it.

It is a little difficult to make arrangements to a European trip because of the uncertainties caused by the covid-19. European countries have the tendency to close their border without much notice and something like that makes planning very difficult.

But, we remain optimistic about the future.

Friend 2

This an epilogue to my previous story about my English friend and how we met here in the New World. As I wrote we lost touch after the 1956 events, but because his mom and my were friends and talked to each other frequently, I kind of knew what he was doing and where he was. But still was surprised when out of the blue, about 25 or 30 years ago I got a call from somebody who knew my name, and spoke Hungarian and knew me from way back then.

I did not recognize his voice and that confuse me even more but when eventually he told me his name a light came on in my head. He told me he got my number from a mutual friend who also lived in New York, although we did not keep in touch with.

We agreed to meet next day in Manhattan in the Waldorf Astoria Hotel in the main lobby under the big clock. This was easier than done. My wife and I went there and waited and waited. Nobody approached us so we continued waiting. Honestly, I didn't see my friend for about 20-25 years and didn't know what he looked like. I was still remembering the young lad he was when we used to meet. Well, there was nobody who even vaguely reminded me of the good looking young man he was. So we just waited.

Eventually all the other people left, met their parties and just us and another couple remained. We circled each other for awhile until I think he, carefully asked me if I was whom he was looking for. And the rest is history.

The bottom line is as time went by I guess I also changed because my friend had the same qualms about me as I had about him.                                

Friend

A very, very dear friend of mine is living in England. He is a friend whom I have known for the longest time, about 75 years. We went to school together from elementary on. He lived just around the corner from me thus we kept pretty close contact with each other. In the winter we used to go ice skating together to Budapest's only open air artificial ice skating rink.

After the 1956 events our lives took separate roads. His to England mine to the US. In the UK he settled in London and eventually made a nice life for himself and his family. Maybe 25 or 30 years ago or longer I don't remember, we picked up our line of communication and since that time have been in close contact with each other. Him and his wife visited New York several times and that gave us a chance to meet and rehash the old times. By the way, he is the same age as I am but 21 days younger. That makes me the older and wiser friend! 

A few weeks ago he wrote me that his elder son just got married at their house in London. That is a very happy event, and I am really sorry that we couldn't be there to share in joy. But in today's world traveling is not as easy and uncomplicated as it used to be. Maybe it will never be!

My wife and I both wish all the happiness to the young couple and congratulations to my friend and his wife. 

Bread

I hate white bread. I would much rather eat a wet sponge than white bread. I just can not see the beauty of it. Yet, that seems to be the American staple. Whenever they show on TV people eating a sandwich that is always white bread. 

It is very soft, it has no body and also has no taste. Whenever I tried to spread something on a slice of white bread I always spread that thing on my palm. When I came to this country I was introduced to white bread and I did try it, but within a short time I realized that there were other choices in life. So, I became a rye bread enthusiast. Rye comes in different varieties, seeded or non seeded. I prefer the non seeded variety. 

Rye bread has more body and since I always spread butter on, it is more pleasant to eat. When we go to food shopping, bread buying is always a major undertaking because there are so many different kind on the shelves. I like a certain type my wife naturally, likes a different type. So, who is the loser in this competition?

When I was living in Hungary we used to by a loaf of bread that was fresh and crispy and never sliced. I don't even thin they knew what a slicer was. We sliced the bread by hand and those slices were nice and thick and pleasure to eat. Some stores sell loaf breads to be sliced or leaving them whole and once in a while we buy those. Eating them bring back the tastes of yore.

Yummy life

When we go to the supermarkets to do our food shoppings, the empty shelves are more and more noticeable. This reminds me of the times after World War II back in Hungary. Even though I was only 8-9-10 years old I still remember that food stores had all kind of shortages. People were telling each other when they found out that certain butcher shop had meat or similar events.

Eventually the government instituted rationing coupons. The purpose was to prevent hoarding. Because people have the tendency to stock up on things they don't even need. Here, some stores put signs on certain items limitig purchase to a certain quantity by costumer.

Now that we are heading toward socialism, food rationing might not be too far in the back. The government will use that as an excuse to make sure that the supply chain is not interrupted nd everybody can get a little bit of everything  Why not to do it? Soviet Union had it, Cuba had it, North Korea had it. Or these countries might still have it. There is nothing wrong with rationing. It will give the government total control over our lives and OC and similar lefties will have everything to say about what we can do and what we should think of. 

Just think about it. Kids will not have to agonize over what career path they should pursue. Adults will not have to tink about which job offer should they accept. Housewives will not have to worry about what to cook for their families because the government will issue weekly guidance menus to follow. There will be no room for extravagant foods and deserts.

Life will be yummy, because we will not have to think any longer.

Are we old?

Are we old?

This is an eternal question, at least in my mind. What is being old? Is it the number of years we live or lived or the way our bodies behave?

Are we old for ourselves or are we old because other people see us that way and they communicate this observation to us.

My mind does not want to believe that I am old but my body tells me otherwise. Bending down is not that easy (actually bending down is easy it is the straightening up what's difficult), I walk with a cane because I have a slight balance problem, I am not as strong as I used to be and I don't (can't) run any longer. There are a few more things but I don't want to bore my friends. They probably have the same or more.

Now, are these symptoms of aging or they are just issues? I look into the bathroom mirror and don't see an old man but just me who didn't change in years. There are people who are much younger than us but behave as real oldies, and then there are people with a lots of years behind them who behave like youngsters.

When I reached age 50, AARP started sending me their publication and was offering membership. This was the first sign for  my aging. Actually, the membership fee was quite cheap so I took them on.

Ok, I look at things that I would have liked to do in life and then realize that they will not be done and I just have to accept that there will be no time left. Just because they were not done in the first 80 years they might still get done in the next 80! But that also can mean that I am just sensible, I also have to accept that by all logical thinking, I have less ahead of me than behind me.

So again, are we old because others tell us that we are old?

Sunday

To get back to my old ways, it is Sunday so I will take the day off. I will not overwork myself.

Why hiatus

Why the hiatus?

I have - according to my wife - weird sleeping habits. I snore and toss around in bed. Plus I do get up frequently to go to the bathroom. Well, this is me, and I can not help it. But my wife did.

She decided that we will sleep in separate beds. So, we went out and bought a new bedroom set, two twin beds and dresser that were delivered on September 23. This meant the existing set had to be disassembled and cleared out to make room for the new things.

For a while our apartment looked like a warehouse. On October 1 we rented a U-Haul truck packed in these things and drove them to a nearby place where they were packed into a U-Pack container for delivery to Ohio. Thanks to our building super's help because he did most of the work with my wife. But I had to be there, watching the truck and help with the small stuff. At the end of the day I was still tired.

A week later the container was delivered on site and that meant we had to be there to unload it. At the crack of dawn or earlier we started off and got to Ohio by 9am. My wife, Abigail, Robin and me. This was followed by an all day of unpacking the furniture. The two girls performed heroically, while I stood guard. By the end of the day the container was empty and even as exhausted as everybody was we started off to our return to New York.

It seems that a seven hour trip is getting to be nothing for us. During this entire process I realized that my strength is not what it used to be, and standing for a long time is ok, but after I usually can barely walk because my feet hurt so much. I guess this is where the mind and the body are not in sync.

On these long trips my wife drives alone. I am not allowed to drive any longer. But I have to give moral support to her. That means I sit in the passanger seat and keeping her awake. I am not allowed to sleep or even do doze off while Abigail sleeps through an entire trip on the back seat. Not driving and just sitting there and staring out the window while making "stay awake" conversations is not easy. 

But, that is what husbands are for. To provide support. 

Color blind

I am officially color blind. I have several times flunked the Ishihara test. My eyes were bulging out and still couldn't tell the hidden numbers or letters. In 1961 I was drafted but the same day was sent home because of this. Not that I am sorry about that but since the Vietnam war was raging at the time, God knows where would I be today.

But I am not color blind when it comes to see what is happening in our society today. There are whites, blacks, browns, reds and other hues and discrimination is raging. The problem is that certain races are given more freedom than others.

Here is an example. A few weeks ago the news was full with the disappearance of Gabby Petito, a white girl from Florida. Sadly, her remains were eventually found. It was a sad story and every media picked it up and carried it.

MSNBC's Joy Reid said Gabby Petito coverage is systematic racism: "missing white woman syndrome". Joy Reid is a black woman and it seems she can say anything without causing a furor. As for freedom of speech, if a white person would have said something similar about a black person that individual would be looking for a job by now.

Blacks have the thinnest skin I ever heard of. Anything negative and they get up in arms. But it seems that the rules are varying by races. A black can say anything about the whites, Jews, Chinese but this does not work in reverse. This is totally unfair. Their attitude is what creates racism and discrimination, but they don't want to see it.

It is ok for homeless or just crazy black men or women to go around and attacking Chinese or Jewish people on the streets but if this would happen in reverse there would be hell to pay.

This is a weird and upside down world we live in!   

MSNBC’s Joy Reid says Gabby Petito coverage is systemic racism: ‘Missing White woman syndrome. 

64 years

October 31 is my 64th anniversary of arriving at Idlewild (now JFK) airport. Boy, how time flies. I spent the better part of my life here, actually more than two thirds of of it. I saw a lot, lived through a lot, experienced a lot. If I knew how to write I would write book about it, but that is a lot of work and I am not up to it.

I lost friends, relatives, family throughout the years and that is sad. But life goes on, and I always say tomorrow the sun will come up. So, I just chug along and wait for what is waiting for. I am a fatalist, que sera sera as Doris Day used to sing. There are things I can not change and I just have to accept them. But at the end another day will dawn.

I know I don't have as much ahead of me as I have behind me but I still want to enjoy life as much as possible. Naturally, I will not take stupid risks but there are other ways of enjoying life. Right now I have a family that love me and care about me. I try not to be too much of a burden for them which is not easy because according to them I am becoming a grouchy old man. Well, this comes with the territory. They have to accept that I am smarter and more experienced than they are. I have an opinion about everything and that always differ from theirs.

I picked up an old expression from an older colleague of mine who always aid that I forgot more than you'll ever learn. And this is one of my mottos.    

Lazy

Going on hiatus is a very time consuming thing. It takes up all the unused time, hard to get out of it and very easy to get used to it. It is easy to get used to not having something to do with a certain regularity, not to fulfill an obligation one made to others. To say that I take a hiatus is an excuse to get out of these obligations and just be lazy. 

Lazy is good! But being lazy is habit forming. Not doing anything is very comfortable, but there is a flip side of this. There are always things to take care of. Some are urgent some not. The urgent ones are usually handled without any delay but the not so urgent ones can be comfortably delayed until the last minute. Being lazy is when the not so urgent affairs are being just postponed.

When one is retired and no longer working, the sense of urgency about most things goes to sleep. Hurry up is no longer in our vocabulary. Why?

First, because why rush? What will I achieve by doing it immediately? What will I do after I took care of this item?

Second, by not handling that particular affair I have the feeling of being useful because that task is waiting for me, and eventually I will take care of it (or not).

Now, this analysis is my reentry into the world of blogs. I don't promise there will not be more hiatus going ahead, but I will try to limit those.